Thursday, August 31, 2006
ouch.. ouch... but the truth hurts. it's not as if i do not know this horrible flaw of mine along with being habitually late and unable to keep up with my promises. and i cant seem to have the motivation to get out of bed early. but it really sucks when someone else tells you outright. really sucks big time. other times, when my dear friends tried telling me about it, they sugar-coated their words. it makes me wonder how vulunerable do i portray myself as?
there's alot of things that i have done which makes me feel stupid and i HATE that feeling. really, really hate it. like i'm some useless idiot bumming my life away. which is the truth now, since i cant make up my mind what i'm working for, what is worth working for and what do i want in the end. i feel inferior when i see my friends enter courses they want in local unis... it was my dream to walk that path they are on now... but now i can say to myself is dream on. i keep having the wrong attitude towards what i do till i deviate further and further from what i used to want... yup, used to want because i gave up wanting them when i realised i was too far off track.
man, i feel like a loser moaning about things i fail to do and gave up. i really do not know how much longer can i stay in this rat race and how longer can i keep up with it. because every step i take, everyone else are taking three steps at the same time. the disparity keeps getting larger and larger, and it keeps getting harder and harder. the temptation to give up keeps getting bigger and bigger.
but the race is not over yet, there's still a very long way to go. and i plan to stick through it, even though it's going to be hell to do it.
-feelings inside ;
...YES, ME.
val lim
25 Sep 1987
nutter
earrings! more earrings!
no spiders, liars for me.
...LOVELY ANGELS
ICE ANGEL
tangGuo
yIxIn
dAphaNe
sImIn
jAsminE
yIxUaN
eDith
wEnQi
lil'lulu
...FADED FEELINGS
...KISS AND TELL
i want kimchi!!
...SPILLED OUT
layout design, coding, photo-editing,
by ice angel
